Growing up so fast...

Marissa's 9 month appointment was fine. She checked out healthy. She weighs almost 17 lbs and I can't remember her length but she'd grown about an inch since Sept. So, she is now 25th percentile in weight instead of 50th. She's small...can't imagine why. Have you seen her parents? :-) I asked Dr. Fleming about her lack of teeth and she wasn't one bit concerned. She said they usually come between 6 and 12 months on average. We'll see. I am not worried anymore. She has some, they are just hiding. Rumor has it, the longer they're in there the more healthy they'll be. I don't know if that's true or if it's something people say to parents whose kids are late on the teeth-sprouting.

Not going to write too much tonight, but she's doing some really cute stuff lately that I want to make sure I record. One, she has started clapping...it's so adorable. She claps and sings (I use the term singing loosely...it's just a more melodic version of her talking).

She's also started holding her own bottle. This is a major feat. She is self-feeding finger foods and starting to eat more textured foods...she still gets confused sometimes, but for the most part she's getting the hang of it.

Her hair is getting thicker and longer and is starting to grow over her ears and stuff. I don't necessarily know what to do with it...I can't push it behind her ears (it's not quite that long) yet it looks somewhat disheveled when it's just falling "as is." Hmm.

She is enjoying bath time a lot...get lots of giggles and smiles. Oh, and speaking of smiles...she has my dimple. Same side and everything. It's barely noticeable right now but I can see it (it perhaps gets a little lost in her monstrous cheeks).

I'm glad the holidays are upon us. I am crazy-busy at work (the busiest I've been by a longshot since I returned to GMAC Insurance over a year ago) which is good and bad. However, I have lots of time off to spend with my little one between now and the end of the year. I've got most of next week off for a visit to my parents' in FL. Then, I have taken every Friday off in December, in addition to extra days the week of Christmas and the week of NY. Should be great to spend that time with Marissa. I know I will get spoiled and January will be a bummer. Christmas should be really amusing this year, though.

Updates from Fall 2008!!

I'm pretty sure no one probably reads this anymore, since I can't even make it a once-per-month endeavor to update this thing. However, I will still keep posting when I have time so that I can have my online record of Marissa's first year (and beyond, possibly...).

I don't even know where to begin. I guess I can begin with Matt and my first overnight trip away from Marissa. My work was taking a trip to Vegas for the DMA (Direct Marketing Association's Annual Conference and Exhibition). In fact, my whole department got approval to go. We stayed at the Bellagio and it was great!! Matt HAD to tag along since we were going to his favorite place...which meant we had to leave Marissa. Now, I guess it's not exactly true to say that we'd never left Marissa before. We did leave her for a night over the summer so that Matt and I could take a trip to Athens to go out with Liza and Big T. This was entirely different, though. We left her Sat night - Weds with Grover and Candace. She seemed to do very well. I was worried, because the week prior to leaving her she started to have some major separation anxiety. I guess she got over it while I was gone because it looked like she had fun. Anyway, we had a good time in Vegas but I did miss her a ton. I was ready to get back. Not sure when I'll be ready again to leave her for that long.

She is still having separation anxiety, but it's OK. It won't last forever, and as one of my books says, it's kind of a sweet period because "never again will you be as perfect in your child's eyes as you are right now." So while it can seem heartbreaking at times (like when I leave her and she pouts and tears well up in her eyes), it's also sort of sweet.

Marissa is crawling now, and it's just so funny. It isn't exactly smooth yet, but she can get all over the place...and pretty quickly!

We've had a different football season than in years past...we have watched a lot of the UGA games with our friends the Forgiones (Marissa's Godparents). It works out pretty well and we've had a good time. I haven't made it to any games this year but it's ok with me. The Dawgs are sort of annoying me this year, anyway :-)

Marissa's first Halloween was pretty cute. At her daycare they had week-long events, where each day they asked us to dress the kids with a different theme. Monday was pajamas day, Tuesday was sports fan day, etc. They wore their costumes on Friday (which was Halloween). It was pretty cute.

Today we went to "Thankspigging," which is a big party that our friend Chip co hosts every year. It's a big pig roast with TVs, beer, and band, lots of food (seriously, they roast a pig...that makes a lot of BBQ). It's all free...they just ask for a donation for the Center for the Visually Impaired (one of the hosts has a son who has visual problems). It was fun and Marissa came with us and was great...she really loved hanging in the Baby Bjorn and singing along with the band. I'm not joking...when the music was playing she kicked her legs and sang in her own special way. I think she likes music a lot. It probably helps that I'm sort of crazy and sing to her a lot...and also dance with her a lot whenever music happens to be playing. She loves it!

This Fall has been so fun. I can't really describe how great it is to watch her grow up and discover things...learn things on her own. It's sort of bittersweet for me to watch her accomplish each milestone. On the one hand, it makes me very proud and it's very exciting to see her figure these things out on her own..but on the other hand, each milestone sort of marks a step towards independence...and I am beginning to see how fast it all will fly by. I honestly can't believe we've had her for 9 months. Where has the time gone?

I'm sort of tired of typing so I hope those highlights get you somewhat caught up. Next up: on Tuesday we have her 9 month checkup. Later this month we take our first flight with Marissa, down to Orlando to see my parents. Oh, and by the way...she still doesn't have any teeth. Not a one. So she's a little late in the teeth-sprouting department. She's been textbook on everything else :-)

Update

So, I'm a terrible blogger. It's just hard to make time to get my posts in, but I'll try to do better!!

Marissa is changing so much every day. I can't believe how quickly she's growing up. She is on the verge of crawling...today she spent a lot of time on her hands and knees trying to figure out how to get moving. It's so cute. She'll spend some time rocking back and forth, and then she'll roll over and lie flat on her back with her arms and legs spread out...like she needs a break so she's taking a breather to gather her strength for another attempt. So funny.

She's been sitting up on her own for a while now. She would occasionally fall backwards so I would have to prop a boppy or something behind her. But now, she's pretty stable and can just sit there and play and I don't have to worry about her falling. I do stay pretty nearby, however, just in case. Plus, she's rolling all over the room so I can't take my eyes off her since we haven't babyproofed the house yet.

Her personality is definitely becoming more defined and perceptible. She is definitely impatient. I think she gets that from me? Not sure. I think she's fairly laid back for the most part, which I think she gets from both of us.

A few weeks ago we had some people over for a UGA game...vs. South Carolina. It got pretty loud when everyone would cheer or groan, and every time, she would look at me, look at everyone, look back at me and her bottom lip would start to quiver. I'd have to immediately scoop her up because the tears would start flowing and she'd be in a full-on cry within seconds. She's not used to all the noise and she didn't know what to make of it. So cute, so funny.

Marissa is also a little ham. She knows exactly what the camera is for and she knows to look straight at it. I tried to get a picture of her crying one day (so 10 years from now I can remember how cute her pouty face is), but I couldn't get it because she would smile every time I pointed the camera at her. She'd have tears in her eyes and a pouty lip, but as soon as I brought the camera to my face she would smile.

She's becoming quite a little eater. She now has "solids" at 3 meals a day. Breakfast consists of oatmeal mixed with prunes (yes, she gets prunes every day and even then she gets clogged up sometimes) and formula. Lunch is a veggie and formula (usually some sort of sweet potato mixed with something else...corn, etc). Snack at 3:00ish is a bottle. And then dinner is some sort of veggie with a meat (for instance, tonight she had a jar of 'chicken and vegetable dinner' which is a jar of mush that has a couple different veggies, chicken, and rice I think). It's pretty gross, actually...no seasoning, either. Yes, I taste everything before I give it to her. The meat is pretty disgusting, but I guess she is Ok with it. So far, she gets really mad if I try to give her green beans. Everything else has been OK. Oh, I tried to give her straight chicken mush (not mixed with a veggie) and she threw a fit and practically choked (dramatic...). She also gets a bottle with dinner.

I've started letting her play with a sippy cup. She gets pretty confused by it. Usually because it put water in it...once the water hits her mouth she won't swallow...just lets it all run out of her mouth.

I am really having so much fun with her. Watching her concentrate so intently on things and try to figure everything out is so great. It's amazing how they process and learn. Oh yea...she's babbling a ton now. Her favorite thing to say is "da da da da da da" or "da." I'm working on the "ma ma ma" but nothing yet. One day she was pooping while I was giving her dinner and I started saying "poo poo poo poo" and she watched my mouth so closely and started going "puh puh" and I started getting nervous that her second word would be "poo poo" so I stopped. Matt, however, thought it was hilarious and noticed how she was really paying attention, so he tried to keep going with the lesson but I made him stop.

That's it for now, I think. I'll try to be better about posting. No promises, though!!

Baptism

We had Marissa's baptism in August. It was a small celebration, with just family and some close friends, and was held at Our Lady of the Assumption - the parish that I attended growing up. I actually celebrated my first communion and confirmation at that church (though it has definitely been remodeled since then).

We chose Amanda and Matt Forgione as her Godparents. They are great friends of ours, are Catholic (a requirement is that at least one of the Godparents is Catholic), and will definitely be around to see Marissa grow up and will be great role models for her.

The Forgiones kindly offered their home as the site for the after-Baptism brunch, which was very convenient and lovely.

In all, it was a nice time. Marissa looked so cute in her fancy baptismal gown and bonnet (which Amanda let us borrow...it was her daughter Caitlin's baptismal gown and worked perfectly). It was just gorgeous.

So now she's even more of an "angel." :-)

First Vacation!!

I've been so bad about posting lately...we've just been really busy and I was battling various illnesses for the past three weeks (strep throat, stomach virus, and then a cold). And, Marissa is so much fun now that it's hard to find time to post...I'd rather be playing!!

We just got back from our first trip with Marissa. We went to Seagrove Beach in Florida. She did really well on the ride down there, and got back into a good schedule rhythm after only about a day! We had a few bad weather days, but towards the end of the trip we had a couple of beautiful days.

Vacation with Marissa was definitely different than before she came along. Now, instead of hours leisurely lounging around on the beach, we shove beach time in between naps and feedings...it was hectic but still very fun. And, we had a few extra hands to help us out so we were able to get some more beach time while Candace, Grover and Meredith took some time out with Marissa.

She was just too cute in her little swimsuits. She was fascinated by the ocean...and liked dipping her little tootsie toes into the water. She also did great in the pool...and loved kicking (I guess the weightless feeling of the water felt weird and fun to explore).

I'll get a link to some photos posted as soon as I load them into Shutterfly.

In terms of where she is developmentally...she's changed a bunch lately. She is rolling over a ton, back and forth. She also tries to scoot along on her belly, but is still probably a long way off from crawling. She can't quite sit on her own, either, but is getting closer every day. She babbles pretty much constantly...makes excited squealing noises, laughs, and lately has started with a "ra ra ra ra" sound. Perhaps that will migrate into "ma ma ma ma?"

I'm going to start incorporating more solids into her diet little by little. We were taking it slowly for a while...I was trying to follow her lead. Now, she seems ready to eat a little more so we're starting two meals with solids...oatmeal in the morning and some sort of veggie at night. After her doctor appointment this month we'll see what our next steps will be. No sign of any teeth yet so I'm not sure exactly how advanced we can get...but I'm pretty sure that babies have an amazing ability to chew things with their gums...

Exciting developments...

It's been ages since I've posted...sorry about that. It's been quite hectic lately. I'll try to be brief but thorough.

Marissa went for her first dip in the pool...she had no issues and seemed to enjoy the water. Fortunately, the pool was neither too cold or too crowded when I took her (we went one day after I got home from work). It was cute. She has a short attention span, though, and being carried around in the pool didn't excite her for too long.

We've mastered the "tripod" sit. I can put her down and she knows how to prop herself up...she can't sit on her own without leaning on her arms, but that will come with time. She will sometimes fall forward or to the side when she's doing the tripod sit, but I'm always around to catch her!

She's still not all that interested in rolling over. She's done it a few times but she's mobile in other ways...scooting on her back, rolling to her side, etc, so I'm not worried about it.

She currently has her first ear infection. She was having goopy eyes for a couple of days, then on Sunday she cried for about three hours. She didn't have a fever, but the doctor said to give her Tylenol, so we did and she fell asleep for a two-hour nap. When she woke up she seemed happy, but I decided to take her to the doctor to get checked out on Monday, anyway...her crying was very out of character so I wanted to be sure. And what do you know...she has an ear infection, which caused the eye goopiness, too. So she has antibiotic eye drops and is also on amoxicillin. To add to the fun...I caught whatever bacteria she has, and I have been diagnosed with strep throat. I was feeling crummy and my throat was killing me. I waited a couple days hoping it would go away, but when I woke up today and my throat hurt more than ever, I decided I needed to visit the doctor. So I am also now on amoxicillin. Thank goodness for antibiotics. I have to say...my boss has been so understanding. I went to the office this morning and he told me to go home if I wasn't feeling well because I needed my energy and strength to take care of my baby and to survive "this place" ... "this place" being GMACI. He's real cool and has been super-flexible...it's almost too good to be true, so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm basically keeping a part time schedule, 9-4, and working from home 2 days per week, but with no cut in pay or benefits. He even ordered me a company cell phone so I could take meetings when I am working from home without using my own cell minutes. So, needless to say, it's a good incentive to stick around :-)

Marissa is just getting to be more fun everyday. Today we laughed a lot together...her giggle is so freaking funny. When she laughs, I laugh back, which makes her laugh again...and it goes on like that for a few minutes.

I'm sure I've left out some stuff, but I'll try to get back more frequently with posts.

Top ten surprises of new parenthood

There is an article on Babycenter.com about the top 10 surprises of new parenthood. I thought I'd take their list and add my thoughts. My comments are in blue.

No matter how much you prepare for it, parenting will blow your mind.Your kids will challenge you, bring you to tears, crack you up, and make you forget what you urgently had to do. They'll shatter the life you knew into a million pieces. Then they'll put it back together, like a stained-glass window, into something infinitely more complicated and beautiful.While every parent's biggest surprises are different, there are common themes to the ways that kids revolutionize our lives. Read on for the top ten surprises of new parenthood according to interviews with BabyCenter moms and dads.

Surprise #1: Your relationship with your partner will change.
"Before kids, we were inseparable. We talked all the time, went everywhere together. My friends said we acted like high school sweethearts," says new mom Kimberly Taylor of her relationship with her husband. Since their baby arrived, however, the couple has been constantly at odds."We hardly speak to each other. We're stressed out over money and bills. We fight a lot," Taylor says.

I wouldn't say this has been too much of an issue for us. I think at first, maybe for the first 6 weeks maybe, life was all about Marissa. We were trying to figure out this parenting thing and how to best care for this new little bundle. I had to spend a lot of time with the baby (I was on maternity leave, breastfeeding all day and night, etc) so there wasn't much time or energy left for Matt. But now, we feel like more of a family. Matt and I can enjoy some alone time in the evening after Marissa is in bed, which is great. So we have family time after work and on weekends, and "Matt and Jamie" time in the evenings after baby is asleep. It actually works out great (though mommy still tends to be drained by the time baby is in bed -- I pretty much go non-stop from about 6:30 am until she's asleep around 7:30 or 8:00 pm).

Surprise #2: You'll have no idea where the time goes
Those days of sleeping in or getting out the door in five minutes are a thing of the past. You will vaguely remember taking long, leisurely showers. You'll think you've left plenty of time to feed your baby and get him to the doctor's for his check-up — and you'll be late anyway. Where does the morning go?

I'm pretty sure I haven't been on time to a doctor's appt yet. It always takes me longer to get out the door than I estimate, though I am getting better at it. Having Marissa around definitely necessitates more strategic planning of our days, so we can work around meals and naps while still trying to get things done!!

Surprise #3: You may look different
The physical changes of parenthood catch many of us off guard. And we're not just talking about moms here.True, moms experience the brunt of changes like wider hips, stretched-out tummies, burgeoning then deflating breasts, and even bigger feet. But dads go through physical changes too — usually because of sympathy weight gain during their partner's pregnancy and lack of exercise time once the baby is born.

OK, yes, I'm still a little fatter and wider than I used to be. I would love to get a workout in occasionally but between work, errands and trying to spend time with Marissa, I have no time left for exercise. Sure, I could stop at the gym on the way home from work, but I'd rather go straight to pick up the baby and spend that hour with her.
Matt somehow still has plenty of time to work out and run, so he hasn't had any "sympathy weight gain" issues. Go figure.


Surprise #4: You'll join an exclusive worldwide club
Suddenly strangers smile at you, and moms start conversations in the checkout line. Your boss kindly asks how the daycare search went, and your neighbor comes over for playdates. With your babe in your arms, or in the stroller, you've earned a lifetime membership in this exclusive-yet-universal club called "parents."Many new parents enjoy this sense of belonging and security, as well as the automatic camaraderie with folks they meet.

This is true and I had no idea that it would be this way. I like the camaraderie.

Surprise #5: You'll be stronger than you ever imagined
"I've been shocked by what I'm capable of," says Alison Gluski, the mom of twin girls. "I never knew I could function — and run around all day chasing two children — on three hours of sleep and a granola bar."New mom Rachel Segobia says that she's still amazed by how she made it through labor and delivery.Other parents we spoke to say they can't believe how little sleep they survive on.

I was surprised to find out how you can make it through the day on very little food or sleep, especially at the beginning. Now that we have such a good sleeper, I don't have to cope much with that anymore!!


Surprise #6: You'll make "mistakes" you never anticipated
"I always swore I wouldn't let my child sleep with me — and then I had a baby. We co-slept until he was 10 months old because it was the only way I could get any rest," says Kimberly Taylor."I thought I'd never let my son have a pacifier past a certain age. At 3 years old, he still needed it to go to sleep — and all the other tricks never worked," says Doe Viscusi, the mother of three boys.We may go into parenthood determined to follow certain tenets. Then we meet our kids and discover they're little people with their own ideas and preferences. In other words, "mistakes" can be what happens when you find that what works for you and your child isn't what you had imagined.

We haven't really encountered this yet. I'm sure we will soon, though. I definitely swore I wouldn't let Marissa sleep in our bed as an infant and by gosh I've stuck to that (I want her to develop healthy sleep habits, not weird dependant ones). I think my brain works overtime in that I always try to think down the road to whether I will have to "break" a habit and whether the short term benefit is worth the effort of breaking the habit later on.

Surprise #7: Your friendships will change
"Friends? Who are they? All of my friends are still in their party phase," says Jill Furlong, mom to a 1-year-old. "They call me and ask me to go out clubbing. I laugh and remind them that I don't do that anymore."Many BabyCenter moms told us they're surprised by how their non-mom friends have drifted away. It can be hard for girlfriends who aren't going through the same thing to relate to constant talk of pregnancy or babies, or to understand how little time and energy is left for them."Three weeks into my pregnancy, my best girlfriend and I started drifting," says Alaina Shearer, who writes the blog Ms. Single Mama."She was the first. The rest slowly drifted out of my life as I became completely wrapped up in pregnancy and my forthcoming mommyhood," Shearer says. But good friendships can make it through life changes — sometimes it just takes work and time. Some of Shearer's old friends have resurfaced now that her son is older and she's more able to maintain contact. Plus, she's formed new friendships with other moms.

Definitely true. Basically what I've realized is that I need to have QUALITY instead of QUANTITY here. I don't need a lot of friends, I just need a few really good friends. Luckily, I have that! I think time with friends is important, so that Marissa doesn't become my life. I don't think that would be healthy for her or for me! And it doesn't matter whether they have kids or not; though I may talk about Marissa a lot, it's not the only thing I bring to the table so hopefully my non-kid friend(s) aren't bored to tears. Believe me, I remember how it was before we had kids and how it gets old hearing about babies!!

Surprise #8: There'll be times when you hate parenting
Being a parent isn't all Hallmark moments and instant bonding."I love my son more than anything, but he's so fussy all the time," says new mom Maggie Craven. "It's really hard listening to him cry."In fact, many new moms told us they've been taken aback by how tedious and isolating parenting can be. You said that the never-ending diaper changes and attempts to get your baby to nap wore on you. And then you felt guilty for not enjoying every minute of it. Some said you welcomed the end of maternity leave because you felt like you did a much better job in the 9-to-5 world than at home with your newborn all day. It's normal to have moments when you wonder whether you're really cut out for this parenting gig.

I honestly wouldn't say that I have ever hated parenting. Part of that is due to the fact that Marissa is a pretty good baby and a pretty chilled out kid. I will admit, however, that the comment about parenting being isolating is somewhat true. I remember when we first brought Marissa home, I felt really lonely all the time. Matt and I were used to spending lots of time together and lots of time with our friends. Then WHAM! You have this baby and you don't see anyone (including each other), you're worn out from labor, delivery and lack of sleep...it's pretty unglamorous. But that was pretty short-lived. I honestly enjoy being a mom almost 100% of the time. Do I wish I had more time for myself, such as working out, taking a shower that lasts longer than 10 minutes, getting my eyebrows waxed more than once every 2 months? Yes. Did I know I'd have to give some of that up for a while? Of course. It's worth it!! :-)

Surprise #9: You'll be overwhelmed by love (and other emotions)
"I never thought being a mom would be this emotional," says Cristy Kennerknecht. "I catch myself looking at my daughter, and there I am tearing up again!"It's an old stereotype — the parent who can't watch a commercial about calling loved ones long-distance without tearing up, much less a movie about a missing or hurt child.Whether it's due to hormones, gratitude, awe, sleep deprivation, or all of the above, parenthood often gives our feelings new depth. In a BabyCenter poll, 79 percent of moms say they cry more now — either because of happiness or sadness.

This is so true. What I'm most taken aback by is the pure joy that I feel all the time. I had no idea how much happiness this little creature would bring to our lives. I get so excited just to see her smile, hear her laugh. I definitely try to appreciate it all and not take it for granted. I also am surprised by how much I am affected by hearing sad stories about other people's children...I hate to hear about anything bad happening to a child. Not that I ever liked hearing that before...it just seems to affect me more deeply now.

Surprise #10: You'll have to let go sooner than you think
With every milestone your child reaches, he or she is moving away from being dependent on you.This may hit when you first see your baby crawling across the room, your toddler dashing around the corner, your preschooler resisting your hugs, or your big kid saying "I can do it myself." And while you're proud of your child's accomplishments, you may feel a twinge of sadness.Letting go isn't always easy, but it's essential, says psychologist and mom Leah Klungness."Parents who constantly hover and give their children the message that they can't do things on their own deprive them of the precious gift of independence," Klungness says.

She's not real independent at all yet, so I can't really comment on this. I do think, however, that neither Matt nor I will be "hovering" parents. That's my hope, at least. I hope she grows into a confident, independent woman and I would love to help her get there.

Nothing in particular to say...

I haven't had a post in a while so I figured I should log on and give an update or two. We've just been really busy so I haven't had much time to write.

I'm home early from work today because our office is in the midst of moving...all of my stuff is packed up, so there wasn't a whole lot I could do at work. Marissa is playing in her exersaucer right now so I had a minute to post.

I guess one major update is that I have officially stopped breastfeeding. This was a gradual process and this week we finally eliminated our last nursing session of the day...and went to all bottles. I am pretty sad about it, actually (which I am surprised about). Nursing was a special bond that we shared, and it was amazing to know that for a while every ounce of nourishment that she got came straight from me. At times breastfeeding was absolutely exhausting...especially in the beginning when she basically ate 'round the clock. But it got so much easier and felt like second nature. When I went back to work, we still were able to keep it up for a while, which I'm really happy about. We nursed when we were together and I pumped once per day in a storage closet at work (this wasn't exactly a dream setup but I thought I'd give it a try and see how things went) so I could give her breastmilk in the bottle while she was at daycare. Gradually we supplemented with more bottles of formula while we were apart, working in more bottles and fewer nursing sessions. This week Marissa dropped her 5th feeding and is now down to 4 feedings per day. I kept trying to shove in that 5th feeding but she wouldn't take it (at bedtime) and would actually get pretty upset when you tried. So, we took the leap and just started bedtime after her "dinner" feeding. Her dinner feeding is at about 6:30 and then she's in bed around 7:30 (after eating, bath, book, rocking). Seems to be good so far...she's still sleeping 11-12 hours at night. The only thing that I can't figure out now is if Matt and I will ever be able to go out to dinner again? Before, we would feed her maybe at 6:00, go to dinner, come back and feed her again and put her in bed around 8:30 or so. Now we've lost that hour for dinner. Hmm...we'll figure it out. She can flex her schedule at some point...but since we're just getting used to the new set up we'll give it a day or two.

The rice cereal feeding is an amusing process. I'm still not 100% convinced that she's actually swallowing any of it. She definitely loves putting the spoon in her mouth and sucking the cereal off of it and then playing with it with her tongue...but not sure any gets in her belly. We'll keep it going, though...eventually she'll figure this "eating" thing out.

In the interest of getting some "God" and perhaps a little "faith" in her life, I have joined a church and have scheduled a baptism. At the baptism class they asked if it was anyone's first return to church since they got married. I was the only one who raised my hand. I'm convinced everyone else was lying.

I had to pause working on this post because someone got hungry and needed to eat. She just killed her whole bottle and then an additional ounce. Boy, someone is eating lots these days. She is now in a food coma...kind of has that glassy look in her eye that Matt gets after Thanksgiving dinner or a stack of hot wings.

We now don't poop every feeding. In fact, we were down to once a day until yesterday, when she didn't poop at all. She still hasn't pooped today, either. Hmm. She has had some truly nauseating farts, though...so I know there's something rotting in her butt...it's only a matter of time until that comes out in full force. I am sure it will be a blow out. Twice this week she came home in a different outfit than she was sent to school in. Atta girl!!

We're getting really good at tummy time...she is SO CLOSE to rolling over, but not quite yet. We'll get there soon. But who knows..."close" could last another day or another month. It's very unpredictable.

Gotta go play with Marissa...she's getting a little restless. Maybe she's working on that doo doo...

Fathers Day 2008

This was Matt's first Fathers Day. It was a fun day...we had Matt's dad over and grilled out lunch. Very low key, which was nice.

As I ponder Fathers Day, I think about what a lucky girl Marissa is to have a daddy like Matt. He'll be lots of fun, supportive but firm at the same time. She'll definitely learn a lot from him and I look forward to seeing their relationship blossom. I think she'll look up to him as much as I look up to my own father.

As I take this wonderful journey through parenthood, there's no one I'd rather have by my side. And I couldn't do it without him!

4 Month Doctor Appointment

Marissa had her 4 month old checkup today. She got an A+ again! Hooray!
We had our 5 shots and 1 oral vaccine...today she only cried for about a minute. She was sort of "talking" to me during her crying and it seemed like her feelings were hurt more than anything...it was sort of cute and sad at the same time. But she rebounded quickly, thankfully!!
She now weighs 13 lbs 6 oz and her length is 24.5. She has been following the growth curve perfectly...Dr. Fleming said she is "textbook" as far as the growth curve is concerned. She's 50th percentile for both height and weight, and 75th for her head measurement (I guess she has a big head in proportion to the rest of her...hehehehe).

We can start introducing "solids" at any point, whenever we're ready. And I put "solids" in quotation marks because there's nothing solid about it...it's more "liquidy mush" than "solid."First comes rice cereal, then oatmeal/barley, then yellow/orange veggies, etc...Doc advised that I introduce fruits later so she doesn't develop a preference for the sweet stuff right off the bat.

None of this food at this point is actually supposed to fill in as a meal (she'll still nurse/drink formula like she was before); the point is actually to get her used to different textures, tastes, swallowing, etc.

As soon as I told Matt about this development he immediately turned his thoughts to how much grosser her diapers are going to get.

So let's see...what else is going on with Marissa?
1. She has found her thumb. A couple days ago she figured out how to get her thumb into her mouth and since then she LOVES it and will suck on it frequently throughout the day...mainly when she's tired -- it helps her go to sleep so that's awesome.

2. She's sleeping 11 hours at night now...I'm thinking she could almost do 12 because I have to wake her up in the morning. We might try an earlier bedtime soon. Doc said she should be sleeping 10 - 12 hours at night so she's right on target here.

3. I heard a real live laugh last weekend. She hasn't really done it since...of course she still smiles a TON and does some small laugh-ish type sounds, but this laugh last Sunday was a true belly laugh, giggle. It was so fun to hear...hopefully she'll start doing this more.

4. She's trying to flip over...still working on it, but hasn't done it yet. Doc said this usually happens between 4-6 months. She is definitely getting noticeably stronger, it's so incredible how quickly they change. She now frequently pulls her legs up and rolls to her side. She also grabs her feet when she's on her back. And she has mastered grabbing things (and putting them in her mouth). Mommy had to stop wearing necklaces...she also likes to grab my hair...

5. They LOVE her at daycare (of course they do!). They can't get over what a good baby she is...RARELY fusses. I can't help but be proud even though I know this has nothing to do with me...it's just her demeanor. We got lucky! :-)

6. Colds, nasal congestion: The kid always has crap in her nose...however, the doctor examined her and said her ears look great, and her chest sounds great...so it's just the infamous "infant nasal congestion." It's too early for allergies...the doctor said that her cellular structure is too immature at this point to really have that type of allergy.

Anyway, clean bill of health and exciting stuff going on with her development. She'll be fun to watch over the next several months!

Matt's first Father's Day is this weekend...really cool. I'll do a post in celebration of that...but in the meantime, it's a cool memory for me because last year we found out we were pregnant on Father's Day weekend. So one year ago we found out we were being blessed with Marissa...it's weird to think of how much has happened in just one year!!

Teaching a new kid old tricks...or something like that...

I don't have a lot of updates this week. Marissa is still a little congested, but otherwise is doing better. Lately she's been sleeping a lot during the day but still maintaining her good sleep at night, so go figure. She likes to sleep.

Part of it, I think, is that she's going through a real "growth" phase right now. Not just in terms of height or weight, but also in physical capabilities. She is working on rolling over...she doesn't quite have it yet, but it's really cute to watch her try (she gets pretty darn frustrated...no patience! Hmm...that sounds familiar...). Anyway, on her back she will pull up her legs like she's working her lower abs, and then she'll roll to the side. She can get her legs over so that she's laying on the front of them, but can't quite get her upper body all the way over (she has to figure out what to do with her arms so that she can pick her head up and move it over). She has actually rolled from her front to her back two times (both were today)...that is usually the direction that they roll first. So, she's getting there! Sometimes I say "roll over" to her and I feel like I'm talking to a dog. Oh well...training a dog and a kid are amazingly similar, I guess. However, she won't get a treat when she rolls over...just lots of crazy cheering, smiling and lots of kisses!! LOL.

When I went in to get her this morning she was completely flipped around...not from back to front, but rather her feet were up where I normally put her head and vice versa. She had done a 180 degree turn in the crib. Lots of squirming going on at night!!

She also is eating a ton lately. She has gone from eating 3-4 oz per feeding to eating 4-6 ounces, normally closer to 6. This is good because she's sleeping through feedings sometimes, so some days she only gets 5 feedings instead of the usual 6. She was supposed to drop a feeding sometime between 3 and 5 months, so I guess this is OK. There just aren't enough hours some days to squeeze in the 6th feeding since she's spacing out her meals more now.

When will I stop worrying about her eating and sleeping? I swear, one day I'm worried that she isn't getting enough sleep, and the very next day I'm worried that she's sleeping too much and something might be wrong. I need to relax. At least I've stopped worrying about her pooping and analyzing her diaper contents. She poops far less frequently (only once or twice a day now) so there's not as much to examine.

As for me, I'm really tired all the time these days. I sleep OK at night...thank goodness Marissa sleeps well...but I am just drained. Part of it is just having a newborn...working or not, I would probably feel this way. They are just very demanding little people!! But I'm still getting adjusted to going full-throttle at work and then rushing to get her and going full throttle with her until I put her down between 8:30 - 9:00.

I'm still holding out some hope that one day I can cut back and work part time, but it's just not in the cards right now. But maybe someday!

Next Friday we have her 4 month well visit at the doctor...which means more vaccines. Yuck. I'm dreading it. I am taking PTO (Paid Time Off) that day to take her and then stay with her to monitor any reactions. Will not be fun.

My poor baby...

Sweetie is sick. Daddy was sick all weekend...and now sweetie is sick. I'm not sure that they have the same thing, but at any rate, I feel really bad for both of them. Matt is actually feeling better, and today was the first day Marissa was feeling bad. I didn't know it until I picked her up from daycare.
Apparently she slept for over four hours after getting there this morning. Mrs. Judy decided to wake her finally to try and give her a bottle (I've instructed them that it's not necessary to wake her from naps to feed her...she normally only sleeps 1 hour...2 is her record...so it's not normally necessary to wake her in order to maintain her feeding schedule. However, Mrs. Judy got concerned and woke her to feed her today, which I am glad she did). Anyway, she eventually drank the whole bottle but was fussy and sleepy the whole time. Then three hours later they tried to give her another bottle and she only took a couple of ounces. They told me she was fussy when she was awake and they couldn't get her to stop fussing very much.
Bummer. I took her home and got her to take a big bottle, then she took two additional breastfeedings (whew...at least she's eating). She has a fever, is still fussy and real sleepy. We called the doctor's office and Matt talked to the nurse while I fed her. She's OK, just sick and needs some time to recover. I'm staying home tomorrow to keep an eye on her...if she seems better I'll go into work. If not, I'll stay here and will take care of her.
I hope she recovers soon. I hate to see my girl in this state, but it's just the first of many, unfortunately! It's just part of life :-)

My Pretty Spring Girl

Establishing our Routine

Week 2 at work so far has been much better than the first week. I am feeling much more comfortable than I was last week. I think the biggest part of establishing that comfort is that I've gained confidence in her caretakers. Kids R Kids (KRK) just seems to be doing a really good job in my opinion. Every time I peek in on the web cam, it seems like she's doing something interesting...playing in her bouncy seat, going on a "buggy ride" (they have a big buggy that can accommodate 6 kids or something), having story time, playing with the teacher (or eating or sleeping). She's really young but they do what they can to keep her occupied. I was worried that she wouldn't get enough 1-1 attention, but I think they do a good job of spreading themselves out and the ratio at this school is really good, too. At the busiest times of the day there are 4 teachers in there and I would guess there are only about 8-10 kids at that time. By the time I pick her up there are only 3-5 kids and 2 teachers. Very manageable.

I still miss her like crazy but that will never go away. The most I can ask for is that she's well cared for while we're apart, and (knock on wood) I'm confident that's the case.
Ms. Kailah told me yesterday afternoon that Marissa is one of her new favorites...it was funny because I had noticed earlier on the web cam that Ms. Kailah was holding her and talking to her a lot that day. How could you not just fall in love with my sweetie?!!
Judy is coming over tomorrow and will watch Marissa while I work from home. We'll keep this arrangement of 1/week for the next month or so and then we'll re-evaluate. I can always just bring Marissa up to KRK from 10-3 when I work from home if Judy can't make it, but for now it's nice to have a break during the week for both of us.
So in general, I'm happy to report that we all seem to be doing OK with the new arrangement. She's still her fun, smiley self. And I'm back in the zone at work for the most part...just a little more tired :-)
Matt has been a godsend...he takes her to KRK the mornings and handles prepping the bottles. This saves me a lot of time. I feed her, get her dressed and change her and then turn her over to Daddy for the rest of the morning. I handle afternoons...I pick her up around 4:30, feed her, play, go for a walk (she has to take a short nap in here or she'll be real grumpy by 7:00), feed her, bath time, bedtime feeding, book, rock, bed by 9:00). Somewhere in here I shove in dinner for myself, too.

Speaking of that, I am back on The Dinner Afare. The location near us actually will put everything together for you at no extra charge -- instead of you going and spending an hour to assemble them -- and you can just pick up the meals when they're finished. Matt picked them up yesterday (they are right next to his office) so now we have 12 meals ready to go...all you have to do is pop them in the oven/on the stove/on the grill and you're ready!! This will last us 3 weeks (we can work in a easy meal each week and we pretty much go out every weekend) so even though it may seem a little pricey, it's really not that bad. My favorite things are that I don't have to think of what to make each week when I'm making the grocery list, and there's no mess with prepping (no chopping, etc). It is a savior for working moms everywhere!! :-)

Return to work

Monday was my first day back in the office and Marissa's first day in daycare. Let me tell you, it was awful. I cried pretty much on and off all day. Matt sent me flowers at the office which as so sweet...he knew I was going to have a hard time (probably since I'd been crying periodically in the week leading up to this). It's just so hard to be away from her, wondering how all of this is going to affect her. I miss her so much. The hours in the afternoon/evening when I get to see her go by so fast. The weekends will be precious.
I was on the webcam that the daycare has pretty much all day on Monday. It's a little hard to make out clearly, but you definitely at least get a sense of what's going on and most of the time I can locate Marissa. For instance, as I type this she is napping in her crib, which is totally typical for her at this time of day (and, in fact, she woke up a little earlier than normal this morning...around 7:00). I'm trying to wean myself from the webcam so that I'm not on it all day, but rather just check in periodically.
It seems like they are taking good care of her and the ladies all seem really nice (you must be a patient person to have that kind of job!). They think Marissa is great. They were surprised that she'd never been in daycare before since she is doing so well adjusting, saying that she barely cries and is very laid back. That's my little angel's personality.
Yesterday was better for me, I didn't feel quite as anxious as I did on Monday and I don't think I cried. I think I'll feel better once I get a comfort level with her daycare, but it's never going to feel good or normal to me. I hope that one day I can quit and stay home or at least cut back on hours, but until then I guess I have to get used to this.
Tomorrow I'm working from home and Judy's going to come stay with Marissa, so we'll have a day off from daycare...which will be good.
Marissa is adjusting better than I am, I think.

Mother's Day

It's weird that I am going to actually celebrate Mother's day on the receiving end this year. Normally, of course, we celebrate with Matt's mom and My mom as grateful children. Actually, this year even that aspect of Mother's day has more meaning to me. Now that I'm a mother myself, I've gained a deeper appreciation of my own mother. I certainly already appreciated everything she did for us through the years of our childhood and beyond, but I guess it took becoming a mother myself to really understand (and I'm sure that understanding will just become deeper as the years go on...my kid's only 11 weeks old right now).

I got an email today that had a nice simple thought in it, so I'll share it:
When the sun is born, so is the day
When the night is born, so are a thousand stars...
and a wish that has just come true
When you were born, so was I
When a baby is born, so is a mother.

Take your daughter to work day!

Yesterday Marissa and I paid a visit to my office. It was weird being in there after being out for so long...there are some new faces and some people were gone; a lot changes in three months. The ladies enjoyed seeing Marissa and playing with her. Of course, just as a crowd had gathered, she fired off a poop that sounded very farty. Everyone laughed and then she smiled...it was classic. I changed her in one of our conference rooms. I was trying to think of a person whose desk I could change her on...but then I realized that there isn't really anyone there that I dislike that much. Now, I could've found plenty of desks at Home Depot to use, but that's why I left that place!!

It's going to take me a few weeks to get my head back into work. Not too much has changed...but there's a lot of planning and new initiatives on the horizon. Hopefully I'll be busy so that I won't cry all day long. Although I might at first; Amanda told me that she cried her entire first day back at work but that it got better day by day. I don't know if I will or not, but hopefully I won't be "mommy-tracked." I do want flexibility but I intend to work my butt off while I'm there; if something is going to take me away from my daughter, it better be worth it (paycheck and benefits are great and necessary, but I hope I get some sort of personal satisfaction, too).

In preparation for daycare, I've started giving Marissa more bottles. She'll probably have to take 2-3 while I'm at work; so today I gave her 2, at the times when she would have them at daycare. I plan to continue breastfeeding when I return to work at least at first. I'll probably pump once per day while I'm at work. So she can have 1 bottle of breast milk and 1 bottle of formula while at daycare, and I can breastfeed her before and after work. I haven't introduced formula yet...I will do that in the next week or two. I'm sure she'll be fine but I don't think I'm ready! After I got past the first few weeks, I've really enjoyed the closeness that breastfeeding has given us and of course the benefits for her. The only drawback is the lack of "freedom" (can't be away for too long because no one else can feed her unless I pump...which I have been doing for a while now) but it hasn't really affected me too much. I'm totally fine moving to formula eventually...it's practically just as good as breastfeeding (and I think I turned out OK and I was formula-fed...ha!!)...but I'm just not ready yet. I didn't think I would feel this way...weird what you discover once you're in a situation!! The other benefit of breastfeeding is that it's free. Formula is crazy-expensive!!

One day I'm going to print out this blog and let Marissa read it. I'm not sure how old she'll need to be to appreciate it (or if she'll ever appreciate it...perhaps she will just roll her eyes and tell me I'm a nerd)...maybe I'll give it to her if she decides to have children of her own one day. At any rate, I'm sure she's not going to appreciate the amount of entries that mention her pooping issues. But she won't be surprised...after all, she does have Matt and me as her parents.

Video of the little lady

I know I sound like a crazy person on this clip...sorry!! I guess being a mom makes you nuts. Thought some of the out of town folks who don't get to see us as much might enjoy seeing her in action. You can tell she doesn't like "tummy time" since she continually hollers in frustration, but we have to do it a few times a day to make sure she develops the skills (which will eventually allow her to crawl as she gets stronger). It's sort of funny how she yells...I can't help but laugh!

Coming to terms...

I was emailing with my friend Amanda this morning about going back to work (she is a working mom herself...her mom watches her daughter a couple days a week and the other days she has a nanny/housekeeper who keeps her...they've known this woman for years...she cleans her mom's house, too). She gave me a little perspective, agreeing that leaving your baby is the hardest, most unnatural-feeling thing in the world, but also told me that it gets easier day by day and will start to feel normal eventually. And as long as you have confidence in the people taking care of her, it will be fine (I'm not sure I have that confidence yet...but hopefully we will gain it as she attends). We will see how this all goes...it will be a huge adjustment but I am sure we'll all find a way to make it work.

As I write this, my little angel is in her swing blowing bubbles. She's started drooling a lot more lately. Now that she's found her hands and sucks on them, I think she produces more saliva. YUM! But she's so adorable and fun. She is rarely ever fussy anymore (when I say that, I mean fussy for no reason...of course she still whines and cries when she's hungry or tired...that will probably go on for quite some time since that's how she communicates with us). Even when she is fussing, I can't help but smile sometimes because she's so cute even when she's doing that. As a matter of fact, I'm logging off so I can go grab her and play with her! Bye for now!!

What I didn't know before I became a mom

I spent my pregnancy reading lots of books and web sites that describe what is happening to you physically, and how the baby is developing each week. What I didn't do...and now regret...is read books on what to do with the kid once you get her home!! A few surprises that greeted me as I entered mommy hood:

My kid's butt needs a cork:
Yes, I knew the kid would poop a lot. I did not know that she would poop after every single feeding (and there are 8 - 10 feedings per day at the beginning!) for the first several weeks. In fact, Marissa is 9 weeks old and is still pooping after almost every feeding. She may skip one or two, but then she makes up for the volume on the next one. In fact, I have called the nurses' line at the doctor's office to ask if it's normal to poo so often and for it to be so runny. Of course I'm told it's normal and not to worry. Yes, I examine each poo to make sure the color and consistency is OK...if you had told me a year ago that I'd be spending my days examining doo doo, I would've told you that you're crazy. And also...there's some myth floating around out there that the poop of breastfed babies doesn't smell. What? That is a lie. And if you're lucky enough that your baby has odorless poop, then congratulations. My baby's poo smells really gross.

My cherub has a zit:
Everyone knows that babies have flawless skin...right? Wrong. It is true that her skin is the softest most precious thing, however, she seems to have a myriad of skin issues. First, peeling scalp -- cradle cap. In fact, her whole body peeled for a week or two (just flaky and dry). So mom of course had to worry about this and ask the doc about it. His answer "she just spent 9 months floating around in water...her skin is going to peel and flake. It's normal and there's nothing you can do about it." Okey dokie. Then there's a bumpy red rashy thing that covers certain spots on her face and chest -- baby acne. Pardon? I didn't know this existed and apparently there's nothing you an do about that, either. I'm beginning to figure out that for everything I worry about the answer from the doctor or nurse is "it's normal and there's nothing you need to do."

The bottomless pit:
I knew that all babies do is "eat, sleep, poop" -- or so they say. However, I did not know that the kid HAS to eat every three hours if they are breastfed. In fact, you have to wake her up if she is sleeping to make sure she feeds at least every three hours. This is painful, especially when you have to set the alarm in the middle of the night in order to get those feedings in. Then you struggle to keep her awake to ensure that she's getting enough during that feeding. So that leaves mommy sleep-deprived, and worried sick that your kid isn't getting enough food and is going to starve (since my boobs don't have a gauge that shows how many ounces she's had, it's a little hard to know).

Monitoring diapers, watching the scales and other fun ways to pass the time:
Since your boobs don't have an ounce indicator, the only ways to tell that you're baby is eating enough is to monitor the amount of wet and poopy diapers they have each day. And to track their weight gain at doctor visits. I kept a daily log of feedings (times, which boob to start with because apparently you switch the starting breast at each feeding) which included a column for tracking dirty diapers and their contents and frequency. The kid obviously is eating enough. However, the real reassurance comes when you get to go to the doctor for a weigh in. Each pound gained is a little victory. Our kid gains about 2lbs per month so far...which is good. 1.5 - 2lbs per month is normal. I wish for every pound she gains that mommy would lose a pound. When I went to the doctor I will admit that I was relieved that 6 weeks after giving birth I was only 10 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. Considering I gained close to 40 lbs, that ain't bad. I should be able to get rid of these last 10 lbs pretty quickly if I could find some time to work out. I have to lose them pretty quickly unless I want to buy another wardrobe...because my butt's too big to fit into most of my old pants. I can't believe that before I was pregnant I ever was unhappy with my figure and wanted to lose 5 lbs or whatever...I now look at those pants and say "gosh, I was tiny." Funny how your perspective changes!!

What's the deal with all the theories and methods on baby sleep?
There are enough books and opinions out there on how to get your baby to sleep through the night that it could fill up Sanford Stadium. How has this become such an obsession? Believe me, now that Marissa IS sleeping through the night I understand the importance of this feat and how life-altering it is. But seriously, if you read too much your brain is going to become so full that it will short circuit. I have a book called "BabyWise: Giving your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep." A friend of mine recommended it to me, told me to take it with a grain of salt and use my own instincts, and I thought I'd check it out since both of her kids were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. I won't get into all the details, but basically the part I followed was the "eat/play/sleep" order of events, and making sure you feed your kid every three hours (which my doctor told me I had to do, anyway) but always make sure you get a FULL feeding (no 5-minute snack feedings) thus the need to keep her awake during the feedings. The idea behind eat/play/sleep is so that the kid doesn't start depending on nursing to get to sleep. The idea, which makes a lot of sense, is to not give your kid "props" that they rely on to get to sleep. Worked for us...she slept through the night starting at 6 weeks.
Other methods include letting the kid "cry it out" which fortunately we didn't have to do because she dropped the feeding on her own...versus attachment parenting in which the parent succumbs to every whim of the infant, picks them up at the first whimper, feeds them 'round the clock if the baby just wants to suckle and not really eat, etc, etc. People are very opinionated on these topics and basically tell you that if you're not doing XYZ (with XYZ being the method they are employing) then your kid's going to end up being emotionally and physically damaged in an irreparable way. Whatever...just find a book that makes sense to you, take it with a grain of salt, employ it along with your common sense and make it fit your life and your parenting style. Your kid will be fine.

Can you grab that door? My hands are full.
Babies are small but require a lot of crap to get through a 2 hour visit at your sister's house. I found this out today. I went to Judy's to hang out, get some adult interaction, see my nephew and let her see her niece. We only stayed for a couple of hours, yet for some reason I needed a huge diaper bag full of stuff (including a bottle warmer, a change of clothes just in case -- see 'cork' entry above if you're wondering why -- among other necessities such as diapers, wipes, etc). And really, there were a couple additional items that I probably could've brought but we survived without them. The carseat alone weighs two tons and once you add a chubby kid it's almost too heavy for little mommy to carry very far. It's pretty awkward.

But the best thing I've discovered...
One little goofy grin, one cuddle, one laugh or one coo can melt my heart. And that motherhood is amazing.

2 Month Doctor Appointment

Marissa had her two-month appointment today and everything checked out great. She now weighs 11 lbs 3 oz and is 22 inches long. The doctor was impressed that she's already sleeping through the night and told us we were lucky (I hear that a lot now and it's true...but I did work hard to get her to do this on her own...I guess the work paid off). I had a list of questions that we went through (everything from napping and what's normal to poop questions to feeding, etc). Seems like we're doing what we're supposed to.

Of course she pooped right before the doctor came into the exam room. She has done this a couple times at the doctor now. Dr. Fleming actually changed her diaper for us. Dr. Fleming is pregnant herself with her third baby so I think she's pretty good at changing diapers :-)

I sometimes think about how much easier this whole parenting thing would be if you were a pediatrician.

She also had all her vaccinations today, which was awful...the nurse held her while I stood by and watched (and cried). She screamed her head off and turned bright red (angry, very angry). I took her in the exam room and nursed her for a few minutes and she calmed down, I got her dressed and we came home. She's napping now...I think the trauma wore her out! Next checkup is at 4 months.

I like going to the doctor to get reassured that everything is OK.

7 weeks old

Well, our girl is doing well. She is awake a lot more during the day and sleeps great at night...she definitely has her days and nights straight. Starting this past week she has slept through the night consistently. Early in the week she would sleep around 6.5 hours straight...and it got longer as the week went on. She slept 9 hours last night! This is a great thing for mom...even though I don't necessarily go to bed when she does, it gives me a short period of time to hang out with Matt and then a longer time to sleep than I am used to! Basically this means she's dropped her "middle of the night" feed and now gets 6 per day instead of 7.

She is still getting pretty fussy in the evening...honestly, I think she just wants to go to bed earlier. Right now she's put down for the night between 10-11...therefore she sleeps until 6 or 7ish (last night it was 10-7). But I think I'm going to start her bedtime routine (bath, feed, bed) earlier tonight to see if that helps with the fussiness. It's weird, it's like she knows when we're starting the bedtime routine because she gets calm at that point. She'll fuss and fuss downstairs, but as soon as I take her upstairs for her spongebath or start her real bath...she calms down. She'll still get the same number of feedings (which is key), the last one will just move up a bit. We'll see how that does. This is all like a big experiment -- lots of trial and error.

She used to go down for her naps a lot better than she is lately. I used to be able to stick her in her crib and she'd be asleep 1 minute later. Today she won't go down without crying...even though I can tell she's tired. But as soon as I pick her up she zonks out. I put her back down and she wakes up...but she'll go right back to sleep. I think she may be getting a little mommy attached. Which is wonderful -- but won't be good when she goes to daycare in 5 weeks.

Speaking of daycare, I am totally dreading it. I actually look forward to going back to work in some ways...but I do not want to leave my little one. I think the daycare we are using has a good reputation...I actually found out about it from someone in my neighborhood who gave me a good reference. And my next door neighbor was telling me yesterday that she was excited because she finally got in to the same center and can start in April (she's been on the waiting list for a while). I was lucky and got in when I needed to...really lucky...the waiting lists for those places are crazy. Can be up to a year!! As for work, my boss says he'll be flexible with me. I'll probably work from home two days a week and then work flex time the other days (like 7-4 or something...and Matt can take morning duty and I'll pick her up). The two days I work from home I'll still need help...so Judy may come help me one of the days for a few hours which will help for when I have conference calls and stuff (then I won't have to bring her to daycare) and the other day I can just bring her in for a few hours (again, for when I have meetings...if I don't have any that day I probably can get by without bringing her in and use that as a day to get caught up on reporting and emails). I'll just have to play it by ear. My goal is to get the best balance of work and home...and spend as much time as I can with Marissa. It will be hectic caring for a newborn and working...but millions of people do it/have done it, so I figure Matt and I can probably handle it.

1 Month Old

So it's hard to believe, but Marissa is already a month old! We had her 1 month doctor appointment yesterday and she now weighs 9 lbs 2 oz. My little lady is getting big and chubby and is growing so strong!! At the next appointment, her 2 month appointment, she has to get 5 shots and an oral vaccine...for 6 vaccines total. She is going to hate that...only Mommy will probably hate it more (or just as much).

We're doing well. Some nights we get more sleep than others, but that's to be expected...she's still little!! Matt and I have ventured to dinner with her twice this week. First adventure was to the Mexican place nearby (we figured it was fast and somewhat loud in there). Last night we went to Zucca, an Italian place in Smyrna Market Village. She did fine at both outings...she slept. The key is to go immediately after she eats. The only time she gets real pissed is when she's hungry...so to avoid a meltdown we have to make sure she's not hungry!! We brought a bottle along last night just in case we took too long...but we didn't have to use it. Daddy just used it for her next feeding.

She's a pretty cool kid. She's more alert now and enjoys looking at faces (her own in the mirror in her play yard and mom's and dad's) and it's hilarious to see her little grins...even if they're not necessarily intentional at this point, they're still fun to see!

And as for mom...I feel good...have completely recovered from the birthing experience...was lucky to have a pretty easy experience. I am slowly getting back into my old clothes, which is exciting. I still need to tone up some of this excess 'flab' from pregnancy...but that should take care of itself once I start running again in two weeks. I'm excited to start feeling like the old Jamie again...well, the old Jamie who is now a mom! Still crazy to think about that!!

Doctor Appt Update - 2/26/07

So now the doctor appointment updates will be for Marissa...not me!!

Last Tuesday we went to the doctor to make sure her jaundice was gone and didn't need to be treated...and the doc assured us that she was doing great (gave her an A+) and didn't have the jaundice anymore. She asked about feeding and I told her that it was a struggle to keep Marissa awake for longer than 15-20 minutes during a feeding, and I think she was a little concerned so wanted a follow up for one week, which was 2/26.

I have been worried sick that she wasn't getting enough food...despite the fact that she had plenty of pee pee and poopy diapers (the main indicator that her food intake is OK). So they weighed her at the appointment and she had gone from 6 lbs 14 oz to 7 lbs 12 oz in one week! The doctor was amazed. This is good news because it means that she's eating plenty (the goal is to get them back to their birth weight by the time they are two weeks old...and obviously she surpassed that). So the doctor said she didn't need to see us again until her 1 month appt. And, she told me that I can keep feeding her at the 2-3 hour intervals during the day, but at night I can let her go for five hours if she doesn't wake up on her own (this is huge in terms of sleeping for mommy). So last night I set the alarm for 5 hour intervals and she woke up on her own at 4 hours and 3 hours...it will be a learning process. The more she sleeps during the day the more she'll wake up at night...and she's currently a day sleeper. However, I am going to work hard at getting more "awake" periods from her during the day to try and get her days and nights straight.

She is truly a joy (and a challenge at the same time).

Marissa Elise Taylor is here!!

Our baby has finally made her much-anticipated arrival. A little early, 9 days early to be exact...but healthy as a horse (she scored 8 and 9 on her two apgar tests!) and perfect as can be.

People always try to describe to you what being a parent feels like, to explain the kind of love and emotion that you can feel for your own child...now I know that it's something that simply can't be explained or put into words. Of course I knew we would love her, but I had no idea how all of it would actually feel. It's amazing and I know that Matt and I feel so blessed and are so excited about this journey we're going to take together as a family.

Physically, I'm feeling pretty good (for being 4 days postpartum). The labor and delivery were pretty smooth. Here's how the labor went:

We went to the hospital on Valentine's Day (technically it was 2/15 by the time we got there) because I thought my water had broken (a very small leak). They admitted me, ran some tests, I was having contractions but they were sporadic. We spent the night (Matt slept, I didn't), and the next day determined that my contractions weren't really speeding things along. The doctor decided, with my permission, to speed things along with Pitocin in order to make the contractions more regular and therefore more productive. I received this at 1:00 PM and it started working pretty much immediately.

I hung in and at 3:00 the doctor came in and REALLY broke my water (so it would all come out in a gush) and that's when the contractions really started to hurt (the doctor told me that would be the case). I held out for maybe 30 minutes and then asked for the epidural. About 30 minutes later I had the epidural (Matt stayed in and held my hand...I was worried he might faint but they at least had him positioned so he couldn't see what was going on behind me). What a weird sensation the epidural gives! So for most of the remainder of labor I had to flip from laying on one side to the other to keep it working the way it's supposed to.

So the doc was thinking baby would arrive around 7:00 or so...but labor wasn't progressing quite that fast. So they cranked up the Pitocin (monitoring the baby the whole time to make sure she was handling the contractions OK) and the pace picked up. The baby had some valleys in her heartbeat when the stronger contractions happened, so they made me wear an oxygen mask to get more oxygen to her. It worked and she tolerated the remainder of labor pretty well.

Then I started feeling really weird (hot, nauseous, like the oxygen mask -- which hadn't really bothered me at all prior to this point -- was making me claustrophobic) and wondered when the show would get on the road. The nurse came in to check my progress, and the next thing I knew she was asking Matt to grab my leg while she grabbed the other and I started pushing. After about 20 minutes she went and asked them to make sure Dr. Graham was on his way. He came in, and told me the baby was crowning...they got a mirror so I could watch and after about two more pushes our little baby was born. Somehow the doctor got Matt to cut the cord!

So now we're home and trying to get settled into some semblance of a routine. I'm not going to lie, it's extremely tiring to be on a "every 2-3 hour" feeding schedule, it's overwhelming to realize that this amazing little girl's fate rests in Matt and my inexperienced hands, and I'm still trying to physically recover from the pregnancy and delivery. But I think as the days go by things will get easier, we'll feel more confident and this will all feel "normal." Matt has taken to fatherhood amazingly and I love to see him interact with our baby. As for me, I am enjoying this time with Marissa, even the hard parts, because I know it will all go by in a blur.

Doc Appt Update - 38 week appt

Met with the nurse practitioner this morning (my doctor was unavailable). The baby's heartrate is good. She still has not dropped (she's apparently sitting on my pubic bone and eventually needs to slip below that). I need to get out and do some walking to encourage the little booger to drop.

So yesterday I thought I started feeling some weird sensations and thought it could be contractions (I still feel like an idiot because I don't really know what they are supposed to feel like)...I think it was since I am about 1 cm dilated now (they were very sporadic and inconsistent, but at least my body seems to be practicing for the real deal). Not tremendous progress but at least something is happening!

I asked the NP how far past the due date they let you go before inducing (hey, I was just curious)...she said 1 week, and they would usually induce you on the day that your doctor is on call in that week timeframe.

I have my next appt on 2/21 with the NP again (my doc is out of town next week) and will have a "non-stress" test. Basically they test the baby's heartrate when she's moving versus when she's still to make sure it's fluctuating appropriately (which in turn means the placenta is still functioning OK...I guess as you get further along the placenta's functioning can start to deteriorate and they just have to make sure that's not happening).

Then she went ahead and had me schedule another appt with my doctor for 2/27 in case I haven't birthed by then, so we can check progress and discuss scheduling my induction (my doctor is on call on 3/1 so that's when it would be if it's needed). So we'll definitely have a baby by 3/1 at the latest!! But, the NP said since things are finally starting to happen that hopefully this will all happen naturally and we won't have to worry about the induction.

We'll just continue to wait!!

Happy Valentines Day!

Week 38 - 2/10/08

How your baby's growing:Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.) Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.

How your life's changing: For many women, the next couple of weeks are a waiting game. Use this time to prepare your baby's nursery or to take care of necessary tasks you may not get around to for a while after your baby's born. Take naps, catch up on your reading, and spend uninterrupted time with your partner while you can. Some swelling in your feet and ankles is normal during these last weeks, but call your practitioner without delay if you notice excessive or sudden swelling of your feet or ankles, more than slight swelling of your hands, any swelling in your face or puffiness around your eyes, or have a sudden weight gain. Also let her know immediately if have severe or persistent headaches; visual changes (such as double or blurred vision, seeing spots or flashing lights, light sensitivity, or a temporary loss of vision), intense upper abdominal pain or tenderness, or nausea and vomiting. These are symptoms of a serious condition called preeclampsia.