Return to work

Monday was my first day back in the office and Marissa's first day in daycare. Let me tell you, it was awful. I cried pretty much on and off all day. Matt sent me flowers at the office which as so sweet...he knew I was going to have a hard time (probably since I'd been crying periodically in the week leading up to this). It's just so hard to be away from her, wondering how all of this is going to affect her. I miss her so much. The hours in the afternoon/evening when I get to see her go by so fast. The weekends will be precious.
I was on the webcam that the daycare has pretty much all day on Monday. It's a little hard to make out clearly, but you definitely at least get a sense of what's going on and most of the time I can locate Marissa. For instance, as I type this she is napping in her crib, which is totally typical for her at this time of day (and, in fact, she woke up a little earlier than normal this morning...around 7:00). I'm trying to wean myself from the webcam so that I'm not on it all day, but rather just check in periodically.
It seems like they are taking good care of her and the ladies all seem really nice (you must be a patient person to have that kind of job!). They think Marissa is great. They were surprised that she'd never been in daycare before since she is doing so well adjusting, saying that she barely cries and is very laid back. That's my little angel's personality.
Yesterday was better for me, I didn't feel quite as anxious as I did on Monday and I don't think I cried. I think I'll feel better once I get a comfort level with her daycare, but it's never going to feel good or normal to me. I hope that one day I can quit and stay home or at least cut back on hours, but until then I guess I have to get used to this.
Tomorrow I'm working from home and Judy's going to come stay with Marissa, so we'll have a day off from daycare...which will be good.
Marissa is adjusting better than I am, I think.