Yesterday Marissa and I paid a visit to my office. It was weird being in there after being out for so long...there are some new faces and some people were gone; a lot changes in three months. The ladies enjoyed seeing Marissa and playing with her. Of course, just as a crowd had gathered, she fired off a poop that sounded very farty. Everyone laughed and then she smiled...it was classic. I changed her in one of our conference rooms. I was trying to think of a person whose desk I could change her on...but then I realized that there isn't really anyone there that I dislike that much. Now, I could've found plenty of desks at Home Depot to use, but that's why I left that place!!
It's going to take me a few weeks to get my head back into work. Not too much has changed...but there's a lot of planning and new initiatives on the horizon. Hopefully I'll be busy so that I won't cry all day long. Although I might at first; Amanda told me that she cried her entire first day back at work but that it got better day by day. I don't know if I will or not, but hopefully I won't be "mommy-tracked." I do want flexibility but I intend to work my butt off while I'm there; if something is going to take me away from my daughter, it better be worth it (paycheck and benefits are great and necessary, but I hope I get some sort of personal satisfaction, too).
In preparation for daycare, I've started giving Marissa more bottles. She'll probably have to take 2-3 while I'm at work; so today I gave her 2, at the times when she would have them at daycare. I plan to continue breastfeeding when I return to work at least at first. I'll probably pump once per day while I'm at work. So she can have 1 bottle of breast milk and 1 bottle of formula while at daycare, and I can breastfeed her before and after work. I haven't introduced formula yet...I will do that in the next week or two. I'm sure she'll be fine but I don't think I'm ready! After I got past the first few weeks, I've really enjoyed the closeness that breastfeeding has given us and of course the benefits for her. The only drawback is the lack of "freedom" (can't be away for too long because no one else can feed her unless I pump...which I have been doing for a while now) but it hasn't really affected me too much. I'm totally fine moving to formula eventually...it's practically just as good as breastfeeding (and I think I turned out OK and I was formula-fed...ha!!)...but I'm just not ready yet. I didn't think I would feel this way...weird what you discover once you're in a situation!! The other benefit of breastfeeding is that it's free. Formula is crazy-expensive!!
One day I'm going to print out this blog and let Marissa read it. I'm not sure how old she'll need to be to appreciate it (or if she'll ever appreciate it...perhaps she will just roll her eyes and tell me I'm a nerd)...maybe I'll give it to her if she decides to have children of her own one day. At any rate, I'm sure she's not going to appreciate the amount of entries that mention her pooping issues. But she won't be surprised...after all, she does have Matt and me as her parents.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Video of the little lady
I know I sound like a crazy person on this clip...sorry!! I guess being a mom makes you nuts. Thought some of the out of town folks who don't get to see us as much might enjoy seeing her in action. You can tell she doesn't like "tummy time" since she continually hollers in frustration, but we have to do it a few times a day to make sure she develops the skills (which will eventually allow her to crawl as she gets stronger). It's sort of funny how she yells...I can't help but laugh!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Coming to terms...
I was emailing with my friend Amanda this morning about going back to work (she is a working mom herself...her mom watches her daughter a couple days a week and the other days she has a nanny/housekeeper who keeps her...they've known this woman for years...she cleans her mom's house, too). She gave me a little perspective, agreeing that leaving your baby is the hardest, most unnatural-feeling thing in the world, but also told me that it gets easier day by day and will start to feel normal eventually. And as long as you have confidence in the people taking care of her, it will be fine (I'm not sure I have that confidence yet...but hopefully we will gain it as she attends). We will see how this all goes...it will be a huge adjustment but I am sure we'll all find a way to make it work.
As I write this, my little angel is in her swing blowing bubbles. She's started drooling a lot more lately. Now that she's found her hands and sucks on them, I think she produces more saliva. YUM! But she's so adorable and fun. She is rarely ever fussy anymore (when I say that, I mean fussy for no reason...of course she still whines and cries when she's hungry or tired...that will probably go on for quite some time since that's how she communicates with us). Even when she is fussing, I can't help but smile sometimes because she's so cute even when she's doing that. As a matter of fact, I'm logging off so I can go grab her and play with her! Bye for now!!
As I write this, my little angel is in her swing blowing bubbles. She's started drooling a lot more lately. Now that she's found her hands and sucks on them, I think she produces more saliva. YUM! But she's so adorable and fun. She is rarely ever fussy anymore (when I say that, I mean fussy for no reason...of course she still whines and cries when she's hungry or tired...that will probably go on for quite some time since that's how she communicates with us). Even when she is fussing, I can't help but smile sometimes because she's so cute even when she's doing that. As a matter of fact, I'm logging off so I can go grab her and play with her! Bye for now!!
Friday, April 18, 2008
What I didn't know before I became a mom
I spent my pregnancy reading lots of books and web sites that describe what is happening to you physically, and how the baby is developing each week. What I didn't do...and now regret...is read books on what to do with the kid once you get her home!! A few surprises that greeted me as I entered mommy hood:
My kid's butt needs a cork:
Yes, I knew the kid would poop a lot. I did not know that she would poop after every single feeding (and there are 8 - 10 feedings per day at the beginning!) for the first several weeks. In fact, Marissa is 9 weeks old and is still pooping after almost every feeding. She may skip one or two, but then she makes up for the volume on the next one. In fact, I have called the nurses' line at the doctor's office to ask if it's normal to poo so often and for it to be so runny. Of course I'm told it's normal and not to worry. Yes, I examine each poo to make sure the color and consistency is OK...if you had told me a year ago that I'd be spending my days examining doo doo, I would've told you that you're crazy. And also...there's some myth floating around out there that the poop of breastfed babies doesn't smell. What? That is a lie. And if you're lucky enough that your baby has odorless poop, then congratulations. My baby's poo smells really gross.
My cherub has a zit:
Everyone knows that babies have flawless skin...right? Wrong. It is true that her skin is the softest most precious thing, however, she seems to have a myriad of skin issues. First, peeling scalp -- cradle cap. In fact, her whole body peeled for a week or two (just flaky and dry). So mom of course had to worry about this and ask the doc about it. His answer "she just spent 9 months floating around in water...her skin is going to peel and flake. It's normal and there's nothing you can do about it." Okey dokie. Then there's a bumpy red rashy thing that covers certain spots on her face and chest -- baby acne. Pardon? I didn't know this existed and apparently there's nothing you an do about that, either. I'm beginning to figure out that for everything I worry about the answer from the doctor or nurse is "it's normal and there's nothing you need to do."
The bottomless pit:
I knew that all babies do is "eat, sleep, poop" -- or so they say. However, I did not know that the kid HAS to eat every three hours if they are breastfed. In fact, you have to wake her up if she is sleeping to make sure she feeds at least every three hours. This is painful, especially when you have to set the alarm in the middle of the night in order to get those feedings in. Then you struggle to keep her awake to ensure that she's getting enough during that feeding. So that leaves mommy sleep-deprived, and worried sick that your kid isn't getting enough food and is going to starve (since my boobs don't have a gauge that shows how many ounces she's had, it's a little hard to know).
Monitoring diapers, watching the scales and other fun ways to pass the time:
Since your boobs don't have an ounce indicator, the only ways to tell that you're baby is eating enough is to monitor the amount of wet and poopy diapers they have each day. And to track their weight gain at doctor visits. I kept a daily log of feedings (times, which boob to start with because apparently you switch the starting breast at each feeding) which included a column for tracking dirty diapers and their contents and frequency. The kid obviously is eating enough. However, the real reassurance comes when you get to go to the doctor for a weigh in. Each pound gained is a little victory. Our kid gains about 2lbs per month so far...which is good. 1.5 - 2lbs per month is normal. I wish for every pound she gains that mommy would lose a pound. When I went to the doctor I will admit that I was relieved that 6 weeks after giving birth I was only 10 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. Considering I gained close to 40 lbs, that ain't bad. I should be able to get rid of these last 10 lbs pretty quickly if I could find some time to work out. I have to lose them pretty quickly unless I want to buy another wardrobe...because my butt's too big to fit into most of my old pants. I can't believe that before I was pregnant I ever was unhappy with my figure and wanted to lose 5 lbs or whatever...I now look at those pants and say "gosh, I was tiny." Funny how your perspective changes!!
What's the deal with all the theories and methods on baby sleep?
There are enough books and opinions out there on how to get your baby to sleep through the night that it could fill up Sanford Stadium. How has this become such an obsession? Believe me, now that Marissa IS sleeping through the night I understand the importance of this feat and how life-altering it is. But seriously, if you read too much your brain is going to become so full that it will short circuit. I have a book called "BabyWise: Giving your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep." A friend of mine recommended it to me, told me to take it with a grain of salt and use my own instincts, and I thought I'd check it out since both of her kids were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. I won't get into all the details, but basically the part I followed was the "eat/play/sleep" order of events, and making sure you feed your kid every three hours (which my doctor told me I had to do, anyway) but always make sure you get a FULL feeding (no 5-minute snack feedings) thus the need to keep her awake during the feedings. The idea behind eat/play/sleep is so that the kid doesn't start depending on nursing to get to sleep. The idea, which makes a lot of sense, is to not give your kid "props" that they rely on to get to sleep. Worked for us...she slept through the night starting at 6 weeks.
Other methods include letting the kid "cry it out" which fortunately we didn't have to do because she dropped the feeding on her own...versus attachment parenting in which the parent succumbs to every whim of the infant, picks them up at the first whimper, feeds them 'round the clock if the baby just wants to suckle and not really eat, etc, etc. People are very opinionated on these topics and basically tell you that if you're not doing XYZ (with XYZ being the method they are employing) then your kid's going to end up being emotionally and physically damaged in an irreparable way. Whatever...just find a book that makes sense to you, take it with a grain of salt, employ it along with your common sense and make it fit your life and your parenting style. Your kid will be fine.
Can you grab that door? My hands are full.
Babies are small but require a lot of crap to get through a 2 hour visit at your sister's house. I found this out today. I went to Judy's to hang out, get some adult interaction, see my nephew and let her see her niece. We only stayed for a couple of hours, yet for some reason I needed a huge diaper bag full of stuff (including a bottle warmer, a change of clothes just in case -- see 'cork' entry above if you're wondering why -- among other necessities such as diapers, wipes, etc). And really, there were a couple additional items that I probably could've brought but we survived without them. The carseat alone weighs two tons and once you add a chubby kid it's almost too heavy for little mommy to carry very far. It's pretty awkward.
But the best thing I've discovered...
One little goofy grin, one cuddle, one laugh or one coo can melt my heart. And that motherhood is amazing.
My kid's butt needs a cork:
Yes, I knew the kid would poop a lot. I did not know that she would poop after every single feeding (and there are 8 - 10 feedings per day at the beginning!) for the first several weeks. In fact, Marissa is 9 weeks old and is still pooping after almost every feeding. She may skip one or two, but then she makes up for the volume on the next one. In fact, I have called the nurses' line at the doctor's office to ask if it's normal to poo so often and for it to be so runny. Of course I'm told it's normal and not to worry. Yes, I examine each poo to make sure the color and consistency is OK...if you had told me a year ago that I'd be spending my days examining doo doo, I would've told you that you're crazy. And also...there's some myth floating around out there that the poop of breastfed babies doesn't smell. What? That is a lie. And if you're lucky enough that your baby has odorless poop, then congratulations. My baby's poo smells really gross.
My cherub has a zit:
Everyone knows that babies have flawless skin...right? Wrong. It is true that her skin is the softest most precious thing, however, she seems to have a myriad of skin issues. First, peeling scalp -- cradle cap. In fact, her whole body peeled for a week or two (just flaky and dry). So mom of course had to worry about this and ask the doc about it. His answer "she just spent 9 months floating around in water...her skin is going to peel and flake. It's normal and there's nothing you can do about it." Okey dokie. Then there's a bumpy red rashy thing that covers certain spots on her face and chest -- baby acne. Pardon? I didn't know this existed and apparently there's nothing you an do about that, either. I'm beginning to figure out that for everything I worry about the answer from the doctor or nurse is "it's normal and there's nothing you need to do."
The bottomless pit:
I knew that all babies do is "eat, sleep, poop" -- or so they say. However, I did not know that the kid HAS to eat every three hours if they are breastfed. In fact, you have to wake her up if she is sleeping to make sure she feeds at least every three hours. This is painful, especially when you have to set the alarm in the middle of the night in order to get those feedings in. Then you struggle to keep her awake to ensure that she's getting enough during that feeding. So that leaves mommy sleep-deprived, and worried sick that your kid isn't getting enough food and is going to starve (since my boobs don't have a gauge that shows how many ounces she's had, it's a little hard to know).
Monitoring diapers, watching the scales and other fun ways to pass the time:
Since your boobs don't have an ounce indicator, the only ways to tell that you're baby is eating enough is to monitor the amount of wet and poopy diapers they have each day. And to track their weight gain at doctor visits. I kept a daily log of feedings (times, which boob to start with because apparently you switch the starting breast at each feeding) which included a column for tracking dirty diapers and their contents and frequency. The kid obviously is eating enough. However, the real reassurance comes when you get to go to the doctor for a weigh in. Each pound gained is a little victory. Our kid gains about 2lbs per month so far...which is good. 1.5 - 2lbs per month is normal. I wish for every pound she gains that mommy would lose a pound. When I went to the doctor I will admit that I was relieved that 6 weeks after giving birth I was only 10 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. Considering I gained close to 40 lbs, that ain't bad. I should be able to get rid of these last 10 lbs pretty quickly if I could find some time to work out. I have to lose them pretty quickly unless I want to buy another wardrobe...because my butt's too big to fit into most of my old pants. I can't believe that before I was pregnant I ever was unhappy with my figure and wanted to lose 5 lbs or whatever...I now look at those pants and say "gosh, I was tiny." Funny how your perspective changes!!
What's the deal with all the theories and methods on baby sleep?
There are enough books and opinions out there on how to get your baby to sleep through the night that it could fill up Sanford Stadium. How has this become such an obsession? Believe me, now that Marissa IS sleeping through the night I understand the importance of this feat and how life-altering it is. But seriously, if you read too much your brain is going to become so full that it will short circuit. I have a book called "BabyWise: Giving your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep." A friend of mine recommended it to me, told me to take it with a grain of salt and use my own instincts, and I thought I'd check it out since both of her kids were sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. I won't get into all the details, but basically the part I followed was the "eat/play/sleep" order of events, and making sure you feed your kid every three hours (which my doctor told me I had to do, anyway) but always make sure you get a FULL feeding (no 5-minute snack feedings) thus the need to keep her awake during the feedings. The idea behind eat/play/sleep is so that the kid doesn't start depending on nursing to get to sleep. The idea, which makes a lot of sense, is to not give your kid "props" that they rely on to get to sleep. Worked for us...she slept through the night starting at 6 weeks.
Other methods include letting the kid "cry it out" which fortunately we didn't have to do because she dropped the feeding on her own...versus attachment parenting in which the parent succumbs to every whim of the infant, picks them up at the first whimper, feeds them 'round the clock if the baby just wants to suckle and not really eat, etc, etc. People are very opinionated on these topics and basically tell you that if you're not doing XYZ (with XYZ being the method they are employing) then your kid's going to end up being emotionally and physically damaged in an irreparable way. Whatever...just find a book that makes sense to you, take it with a grain of salt, employ it along with your common sense and make it fit your life and your parenting style. Your kid will be fine.
Can you grab that door? My hands are full.
Babies are small but require a lot of crap to get through a 2 hour visit at your sister's house. I found this out today. I went to Judy's to hang out, get some adult interaction, see my nephew and let her see her niece. We only stayed for a couple of hours, yet for some reason I needed a huge diaper bag full of stuff (including a bottle warmer, a change of clothes just in case -- see 'cork' entry above if you're wondering why -- among other necessities such as diapers, wipes, etc). And really, there were a couple additional items that I probably could've brought but we survived without them. The carseat alone weighs two tons and once you add a chubby kid it's almost too heavy for little mommy to carry very far. It's pretty awkward.
But the best thing I've discovered...
One little goofy grin, one cuddle, one laugh or one coo can melt my heart. And that motherhood is amazing.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
2 Month Doctor Appointment
Marissa had her two-month appointment today and everything checked out great. She now weighs 11 lbs 3 oz and is 22 inches long. The doctor was impressed that she's already sleeping through the night and told us we were lucky (I hear that a lot now and it's true...but I did work hard to get her to do this on her own...I guess the work paid off). I had a list of questions that we went through (everything from napping and what's normal to poop questions to feeding, etc). Seems like we're doing what we're supposed to.
Of course she pooped right before the doctor came into the exam room. She has done this a couple times at the doctor now. Dr. Fleming actually changed her diaper for us. Dr. Fleming is pregnant herself with her third baby so I think she's pretty good at changing diapers :-)
I sometimes think about how much easier this whole parenting thing would be if you were a pediatrician.
She also had all her vaccinations today, which was awful...the nurse held her while I stood by and watched (and cried). She screamed her head off and turned bright red (angry, very angry). I took her in the exam room and nursed her for a few minutes and she calmed down, I got her dressed and we came home. She's napping now...I think the trauma wore her out! Next checkup is at 4 months.
I like going to the doctor to get reassured that everything is OK.
Of course she pooped right before the doctor came into the exam room. She has done this a couple times at the doctor now. Dr. Fleming actually changed her diaper for us. Dr. Fleming is pregnant herself with her third baby so I think she's pretty good at changing diapers :-)
I sometimes think about how much easier this whole parenting thing would be if you were a pediatrician.
She also had all her vaccinations today, which was awful...the nurse held her while I stood by and watched (and cried). She screamed her head off and turned bright red (angry, very angry). I took her in the exam room and nursed her for a few minutes and she calmed down, I got her dressed and we came home. She's napping now...I think the trauma wore her out! Next checkup is at 4 months.
I like going to the doctor to get reassured that everything is OK.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
7 weeks old
Well, our girl is doing well. She is awake a lot more during the day and sleeps great at night...she definitely has her days and nights straight. Starting this past week she has slept through the night consistently. Early in the week she would sleep around 6.5 hours straight...and it got longer as the week went on. She slept 9 hours last night! This is a great thing for mom...even though I don't necessarily go to bed when she does, it gives me a short period of time to hang out with Matt and then a longer time to sleep than I am used to! Basically this means she's dropped her "middle of the night" feed and now gets 6 per day instead of 7.
She is still getting pretty fussy in the evening...honestly, I think she just wants to go to bed earlier. Right now she's put down for the night between 10-11...therefore she sleeps until 6 or 7ish (last night it was 10-7). But I think I'm going to start her bedtime routine (bath, feed, bed) earlier tonight to see if that helps with the fussiness. It's weird, it's like she knows when we're starting the bedtime routine because she gets calm at that point. She'll fuss and fuss downstairs, but as soon as I take her upstairs for her spongebath or start her real bath...she calms down. She'll still get the same number of feedings (which is key), the last one will just move up a bit. We'll see how that does. This is all like a big experiment -- lots of trial and error.
She used to go down for her naps a lot better than she is lately. I used to be able to stick her in her crib and she'd be asleep 1 minute later. Today she won't go down without crying...even though I can tell she's tired. But as soon as I pick her up she zonks out. I put her back down and she wakes up...but she'll go right back to sleep. I think she may be getting a little mommy attached. Which is wonderful -- but won't be good when she goes to daycare in 5 weeks.
Speaking of daycare, I am totally dreading it. I actually look forward to going back to work in some ways...but I do not want to leave my little one. I think the daycare we are using has a good reputation...I actually found out about it from someone in my neighborhood who gave me a good reference. And my next door neighbor was telling me yesterday that she was excited because she finally got in to the same center and can start in April (she's been on the waiting list for a while). I was lucky and got in when I needed to...really lucky...the waiting lists for those places are crazy. Can be up to a year!! As for work, my boss says he'll be flexible with me. I'll probably work from home two days a week and then work flex time the other days (like 7-4 or something...and Matt can take morning duty and I'll pick her up). The two days I work from home I'll still need help...so Judy may come help me one of the days for a few hours which will help for when I have conference calls and stuff (then I won't have to bring her to daycare) and the other day I can just bring her in for a few hours (again, for when I have meetings...if I don't have any that day I probably can get by without bringing her in and use that as a day to get caught up on reporting and emails). I'll just have to play it by ear. My goal is to get the best balance of work and home...and spend as much time as I can with Marissa. It will be hectic caring for a newborn and working...but millions of people do it/have done it, so I figure Matt and I can probably handle it.
She is still getting pretty fussy in the evening...honestly, I think she just wants to go to bed earlier. Right now she's put down for the night between 10-11...therefore she sleeps until 6 or 7ish (last night it was 10-7). But I think I'm going to start her bedtime routine (bath, feed, bed) earlier tonight to see if that helps with the fussiness. It's weird, it's like she knows when we're starting the bedtime routine because she gets calm at that point. She'll fuss and fuss downstairs, but as soon as I take her upstairs for her spongebath or start her real bath...she calms down. She'll still get the same number of feedings (which is key), the last one will just move up a bit. We'll see how that does. This is all like a big experiment -- lots of trial and error.
She used to go down for her naps a lot better than she is lately. I used to be able to stick her in her crib and she'd be asleep 1 minute later. Today she won't go down without crying...even though I can tell she's tired. But as soon as I pick her up she zonks out. I put her back down and she wakes up...but she'll go right back to sleep. I think she may be getting a little mommy attached. Which is wonderful -- but won't be good when she goes to daycare in 5 weeks.
Speaking of daycare, I am totally dreading it. I actually look forward to going back to work in some ways...but I do not want to leave my little one. I think the daycare we are using has a good reputation...I actually found out about it from someone in my neighborhood who gave me a good reference. And my next door neighbor was telling me yesterday that she was excited because she finally got in to the same center and can start in April (she's been on the waiting list for a while). I was lucky and got in when I needed to...really lucky...the waiting lists for those places are crazy. Can be up to a year!! As for work, my boss says he'll be flexible with me. I'll probably work from home two days a week and then work flex time the other days (like 7-4 or something...and Matt can take morning duty and I'll pick her up). The two days I work from home I'll still need help...so Judy may come help me one of the days for a few hours which will help for when I have conference calls and stuff (then I won't have to bring her to daycare) and the other day I can just bring her in for a few hours (again, for when I have meetings...if I don't have any that day I probably can get by without bringing her in and use that as a day to get caught up on reporting and emails). I'll just have to play it by ear. My goal is to get the best balance of work and home...and spend as much time as I can with Marissa. It will be hectic caring for a newborn and working...but millions of people do it/have done it, so I figure Matt and I can probably handle it.
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