Is it possible to look cute in a gut strap?

So there are a lot of things that you expect when you become pregnant: weight gain, fatigue, nausea, worry. Despite this, I still had visions (delusions?) of myself as a cute, fit, energetic and sane pregnant lady (those visions are gone, by the way). But there are plenty of things that no one tells you…things you find out along the way. And let me just say, I think even the most self-confident person is a little thrown off their game by carrying around a bunch of excess weight, even if it is all “baby weight.” This entry is dedicated to some of the things I’ve experienced firsthand that I wasn’t prepared for (and admittedly, some of these are weird).

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome – What? I thought this was reserved for people who type a lot or play tennis. I had no idea that having a baby in my belly could cause cramping in my hand and numbness in my fingers 24/7. My doctor assures me this is normal…that all the excess fluid (nice) of pregnancy somehow presses on the nerves in your carpal tunnel and causes all of these symptoms. Nothing I can really do about this except for sleep in a wrist brace, which theoretically is helping but is not in the least bit attractive.

Back Pain – OK, if I had thought long enough about this I would’ve probably figured out that back pain is part of the equation. Mine’s not too bad yet, but it is becoming a little uncomfortable in the lower back region. I mentioned this to my doctor yesterday and she said, “This is totally normal. You are carrying a bunch of extra weight in the front that your body isn’t used to, so you naturally adjust your posture to compensate and this puts strain on your back. You can always get one of those maternity belts for support.” Lovely. Just what every woman wants to hear. Your gut is so big that your back muscles can’t support it on their own. Matt affectionately calls these maternity belts “gut straps”…we saw them in Babiesrus and laughed about them. I will not break down and get one of these. Not yet at least.

Sleeping – Yeah, yeah, I knew that sleeping would probably be tougher and tougher as I got bigger and bigger…but I didn’t know that you are basically “forbidden” to sleep flat on your back (because your growing uterus supposedly presses on some major artery that supplies blood from your bottom half to your heart and back again). And yes, you guessed it…I am usually a back sleeper so I’ve had to adjust to trying to sleep on my side. I basically flip from one side to the next at least 10 times per night, which doesn’t make for very restful sleep. I guess this is getting me used to the sleepless nights once Baby is here.

Food Restrictions – Everyone knows that you have to give up things like drinking alcohol for Baby’s sake. This was not a big deal to me. I haven’t really had a hard time with it at all (though I will admit that I’m looking forward to having a glass of wine sometime in 2008 after the baby arrives). However, I didn’t know that there are some foods you aren’t supposed to eat because of risks of bacterial infections which apparently you’re more susceptible to when you’re pregnant. Things like deli meat (ok, technically you can eat it if you heat it until it’s steaming hot but that just sound gross to me) and any soft cheeses that might not be pasteurized. You also aren’t supposed to eat too much fish because of mercury (my doctor explained to me that the bigger the fish the more mercury it has, because it eats smaller fish and accumulates more mercury. Makes sense, right?). I don’t know about you, but I am by no means a fish expert so I have no idea what size a fish is in nature. I just know what it looks like when its fillet is cooked on my plate. Supposedly caffeine is OK to have, but I have eliminated coffee from my diet (which stinks when I really need a pick me up due to lack of sleep) and the only caffeine I get is small amounts from occasional chocolate (like hot chocolate). I don’t need Baby Taylor to be jacked up on caffeine.

Memory Loss, Clumsiness, and Personality Disorders –
Why does building a human cause your brain to stop functioning like it used to? Maybe I’m just using pregnancy as an excuse, but I swear I am more forgetful, less sharp and generally less smart than I used to be. Perhaps my mind is preoccupied with thoughts of everything from nurseries to childbirth to poopie diapers.
Clumsiness is something I could’ve probably guessed if I thought long enough about the changes your body is going through. Admittedly, my shifting center of gravity has made me less than graceful. However, I’m not sure why it makes me drop things all the time?
I think Matt would agree that I have been a relatively sane pregnant lady. I try to be a good sport and still go out with our friends a lot for tailgating, dinner/drinks (yes, my drink of choice is now water and my permanent role is now designated driver). I also am still pulling my weight around the house and at work. However, I am not immune to the “pregnant crazies” where my hormones eventually take over and I become a demon-woman who either cries or snaps. But this has only happened a few times and I will say the episodes are short-lived. Sorry Matt. However, I can legitimately blame this on the hormones that are raging through my body in order to create your kid, so I hope you’ll cut me some slack. It’s weird to not feel in control of your own body, though.

Gas – Yes, this is a fact of pregnancy that I didn’t previously know about. I would’ve left this off the list but if I didn’t mention it at all I am sure Matt would call me out. I’m not, however, going to wax poetic on the subject.

And so there are just a few things that I didn’t expect when going into this crazy thing called pregnancy. I am not complaining at all, though…I have had a pretty easy go of it and am counting my blessings! As I enter this last trimester I get more excited about the baby’s arrival and anticipate that there will be more fun things to discover about pregnancy. I’ll share again at a later date if there are any that are amusing.